Coping with the past

This is an entry that I don't know how it will be taken. Ever since I started a blog, I wanted to tackle this one and just did not know how.
I grew up in a very legalistic church. It is what we would call today, Arminian in its philosophy. Man-centered, decision based. If one did not go door to door every week, they were not doing God's will. They believe that God needs man to fulfill His will. It is man's choice, not God's if he gets saved or not. The more personal issues --if a woman wore pants, she was in sin and not right with God (we had to go roller skating, skiing --snow or water, sledding, camp, mountain climbing, etc... in coulottes). If the wife wrote the checks for the bills, the man was a wimp (it did not matter who had better handwriting). All CCM music was wrong, therefore they had their own radio station so that we would not fall into that trap (though Southern Gospel was okay because Pastor liked country music). If you used a different version of the Bible than the KJV you were not right with God. If a man had a goatee he looked like a horses rear end (the pastor used the swear word). The pastor there did not teach the Bible, but taught his personal standards and convictions and took verses from the Bible (KJV only) out of context to make his point. Churches like this become very judgemental and almost cultic because of this list that you have to live by to be "Spiritual" or to "look like a Christian". All this came to light through my new encounters with the Word of God with the help of my pastor (whom I have had for 5 years), my husband, and preacher/teacher John MacArthur (who is a 5 point Calvinist and would be considered taboo in the Arminian realms of our circles).
I remember going to the mall and saw another girl from our church in pants and thinking "how could she, doesn't she know that is wrong?" Now I am the girl wearing the pants at the mall. Another time from the pulpit I remember the pastor saying "I like going to the mall and seeing who is mine, " referring to women wearing coulottes. Scary!! It is a very controlling, man-centered environment.
It is not up to us to judge another, but God (my own paraphrase). A recent thing occurred with a friend where her husband left her for another woman. Come to find out this was on its way months ago and just recently came to light. As hard as that is to compute in my finite mind, I hurt for his soul. I cry for their relationship and for their kids who now have to share their parents in two different places. I pray for them almost daily and if it be God's will for repentance and reconciliation to occur.
There would have been a time when I would have said, "I am better than that, and that will never happen to me, or what a dummy doesn't he know better?". I still think he is not smart in his actions, but it is the product of indwelling sin. I now look at it as I am a total depraved sinner too and only by God's sovereign grace alone, I am not in that same sin. We each have different sins that we struggle with and I have my own personal sin that I have to repent of on a daily basis so that I can persevere in my Christian life and when I am out of the Word of God and my prayer life is not where it should be, I fall away into that personal sin.
Another thing is the music issue. Growing up, Steve Green was taboo. Anything that hinted at CCM was bad and if you listened to it you were in sin. I remember having heard certain names in the CCM industry mentioned from the pulpit and I knew that my best friend listened to all of those. My dad told me that when she turned on Amy Grant I had to come home. I never did.
Now in Christian Liberty, I attend concerts where God is glorified, e.g. Steve Green, Glad, etc.... The whole issue used to be "those people at the concerts are neo evangelical or charismatic and we don't dare have any fellowship with them because we are BAPTIST and we do not mingle with those who are not. Honestly, I know several people who are not Baptist who are better Christians than many Baptists that I know in the circles that I grew up in. Our church would not be a part of other Baptist fellowships in our area because they did not wear coulottes (e.g another team came to play volleyball, their girls uniforms were sweat pants. They were made to change into our extra PE coulottes to play in our gym),or did not use the KJV (1611 version I might add), or one of their men had long hair or worse, had a goatee. Imagine that!! Now I go to a church where about 80% of the men have one.
MBBC was no longer able to visit our church/school because one of their girls in their touring group got out of the van/bus in a pair of "shorts".
What is up with the 1611 KJV being the only version of the Bible? Come on people. Check out your facts on that one. Very few people who claim that, actually use that version. We could not understand it today. I picked one up while in college and tried to read it. I put it down as I could not understand it. Almost every KJV that is in use today by these so-called 1611 KJV onlyers is a newer version and has been updated in our modern language to some extent.
There is a belief in some Fundamentalist circles that if you use a different version of the Bible you are in sin and cannot be saved. I know people who have a much better walk with God who use a different version. I feel I have grown more in the past 5 years using the NKJV and the NASB, than in the 20 or so years that I used the KJV only. It is not a Biblical argument and should not be what you base your faith on, but on the God who is the author of His Word, no matter what version. I have my personal favorites, but I do not believe that Christianity stands or falls on a particular version.
I thank the Lord and John Calvin (he made them clear for the common man through the power of the Holy Spirit)for the Soul liberty and freedoms that can be found through the teachings of the Doctrines of Grace.