Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Funny jokes from Reader's Digest.

I live in Illinois so I am surrounded by Bears, Packers, Cubs, and White Sox fans, so this was quite amusing when I read it the other day, especially since I am fan of none of the above. Oops, I just upset the one Bear fan who reads my blog.

Taken from Readers Digest September 2007.

"I thought when the Chicago Bears got into the Super Bowl, perhaps my Wisconsin neighbors would bury the hatchet and root them on. How wrong I was. A sign at the local insurance agency bellowed, 'Go Bears.' The rest of it demanded, '...And Take the Cubs With You.'"

Here's one for those annoying telemarketers. From the same magazine.

"When I phoned a friend recently, I heard the following message on her answering machine: 'Hi, I am probably home--I am just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.'"

Here's one for the society that we live in. This is a quote from Late Night comedian Jay Leno.

"I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries'. The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'"

here is one for those of us who don't really care for Math (at least the hard Math, most people can figure out 2+2. and everyone knows it = 5).
This quote is from Larry Miller

"As long as there is algebra, there will be prayer in school."

Finally, here is another one for all the tv lovers out there. This is from Jay Leno.

"NASA says they have proof that parts of Mars were once submerged under water, which means it could have supported life. Of course, water doesn't always mean intelligent life--you remember Baywatch?"

thanks, have a nice day. :-)

4 comments:

Ann-Marie said...

FUNNY! My parents always subscribed to Reader's Digest when I was a kid, so I grew up on those pages.

My dream was always to send something in that got published. I tried once when I was 8 or 9. I don't remember the joke, just that in involved a one-armed man named "Carlos."

Yeah, they didn't think it was funny either!

Heidi said...

It has been suggested to me to publish something about something funny that my kid did. I will have to run it by you and see what you think. I just have to get the wording correct. Anouk thinks it is funny enough to win something.

Robin Hayes said...

"When I phoned a friend recently, I heard the following message on her answering machine: 'Hi, I am probably home--I am just avoiding someone who's a Bears fan. Leave a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.'"

Am I your one Bear fan blog reader? If you don't respond, I'll know it's me. ;)

I love Reader's Digest - I got a gift subscription, and find it totally addicting. I love the puzzle on the last page.

Heidi said...

I was just being facetious. I didn't really know if I had any bear fan readers or not. I just thought the joke was hilarious.