funnies

Now for what you have all been waiting for, the next edition of Readers Digest funnies.

1. I called a company in Nashville to order some country music CD's. After hanging up, I said to my wife, "The woman on the phone had such a heavy accent, I could barely understand her." Apparently the problem had been mutual. My CD's arrived in a package addressed to "Smoked Ham, Washington." by Tom Burk,of Spokane Washington
I thought that one especially funny because I could see that happening, since I have had to explain the pronunciation of that city many times in my life, since I am originally from there.

2. One Sunday, a minister played hooky from church so that he could shoot a round of golf. St. Peter, looking down froom Heaven, seethed. "You're going to let him get away with this, God?" The Lord shook His head. The minister took his first shot. The ball soared through air 420 yards and dropped into the cup for a hole in one. St Peter was outraged. " I thought you were going to punish him!" The Lord shrugged. " Who's he going to tell?" (by Philip Lazenby)
Obviously I don't agree with the theology, but the joke was funny.

3. Three dolts are in the forest when they spot a set of tracks.
Dolt #1 says, "hey, deer tracks!"
Dolt #2 says, "No, dog tracks!"
Dolt #3 says, "You're both crazy -- they're cow tracks!"
They were still arguing when the train hit them.
submitted by Mike Thomas

and finally, last but not least.
4. One day at a local cafe, a woman suddenly called out. "My daughter's choking! she swallowed a nickel! Please, anyone, help!" Immediately a man at a nearby table rushed up to her and said he was experienced in these situations. He calmly stepped over the girl, then with no look of concern, wrapped his arms around her and squeezed. Out popped the nickel.
The man returned to his table as if nothing had happened. "Thank you!" the mother cried. "Tell me, are you a doctor?"
"no," the man replied. "I work for the IRS."
submitted by Mike Thomas

I thought that last one was appropriate since we are all beginning to think of tax time (some of us have all ready reported, yay).