Readers Digest funnies

I know it is a little late, but here it is as promised:

Purely by coincidence, I ran into my husaband in our local store on Valentine's day. 'He' was a beautiful pink azalea, and I joked, "That better be for me." From behind, a woman's voice: "It is now." sent in by Patricia Rut

From the University of Mississippi's The Daily Mississippian, a dose of sweet irony: "telemarketers: now hiring telemarketers. Flexible hours available. Experience preferred. No phone calls, please." sent in by Brian Clark Stuart

A small town's sheriff was also its lone veterinarian. One night, the phone rang and his wife answered. "Let me speak to your husband!" a voice demanded. "Do you require his services as a sheriff or a vet?" "Both", cried the caller. "We can't get our dog's mouth open and there's a burglar in it." submitted by Bob Fenster

One more:

The pharmacist arrives at work to find a frightened looking man leaning against a wall. "What's wrong with him?" the pharmacist asks his clerk. " He wanted cough medicine, but I couldn't find him any, so I gave him a laxative." "Laxatives won't cure a cough,"yells the owner. "Sure they will. Look at him. He's afraid to cough." submitted by Ed Thompson